A few days ago, I had a nightmare in which Ryan Church was traded to the Phillies. This made me realize how much I despise the Phillies. This was truly a horrible dream not because Ryan Church was traded (which is merely bad), but because he was traded to the Phillies. The news of this trade left me in a state of shock, truly shaking my faith in the goodness of the world and of mankind. Thankfully, it was only a dream.